Month: November 2018

Thankfulness and my “Wasted Semester”

/ Stephanie Giles / 1 Comment

Being Thankful

It’s easy to be thankful. While some may have more than others, we can all probably easily list 10 things we are thankful for without hesitation. I’m very blessed. I have a wonderful family, a warm house to live in, a job, a relationship with God, and so much more. It’s not hard to be thankful for the good things I’ve been given in life.

One thing I have been learning in my Christian walk, however, is to also be grateful for things that don’t seem as inherently good. I was listening to the song “Blessings” by Laura Story recently, and it really made me start to think about life differently. The song talks about how sometimes the things we see as bad things are actually blessings sent from heaven. We seldom realize these trials are actually benefiting us in some way while they are occurring, but upon looking back, we often find that it was for the best.

Fall 2018: A Wasted Semester?

I’ll confess, this semester has been a real struggle for me. I had switched majors right before scheduling classes, and everything felt chaotic from the very start. Switching majors put me at a different campus than the one I had previously attended, which was nearly triple the cost from what I had been paying in tuition. About a third of the way through the semester, I nearly had a breakdown. Nothing was going right. Two of the classes I was enrolled in felt totally “off” to me. I was getting fine grades, and the workload was not too heavy for me, but every time I went to those classes, I just felt out of place and like something was really wrong. It was as if there was a wall blocking me from praying on occasion as well.

I dropped both of those classes. I had never dropped a class before in my entire life, especially not mid-semester. It really messed with me for a while. I felt like I had done something wrong. Had I somehow failed at following God’s directions for me back when I registered for classes? I didn’t think so. But those thoughts tormented me for some time.

With all my spare time, having dropped a total of 6 credit hours, I worked a lot more, which allowed me to pay off some debt. Not only this, but I also had more time in the mornings to spend in my personal devotions. I still had a 45 minute drive to campus, but I also tried to use that as extra prayer time or to listen to uplifting music. All the while, I was battling thoughts of failure; thoughts about how this would set me back. I would graduate later now for sure, and I was already behind after changing my major. I wondered what people would think if they knew I had dropped out of two classes in the middle of a semester and if they would assume I was failing the courses. So much money and time was spent, only to withdraw halfway through. It all felt like a waste.

Finding Good in the Bad

More recently, God has been showing me a different way to look at things. I firmly believe I did not go astray, but rather, everything that happened was all part of God’s plan for me. After dropping those classes, I had long conversations with God that might not have happened otherwise. I overcame my doubts and fears about whether I was still on track or not, and I fought battles that I might not have fought if it wasn’t for going through that particular situation. It was a tremendously frustrating and confusing situation to me at the time, but it pushed me closer to God.

One of my favorite lines in the previously mentioned song is “What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?”  I know that it is difficult to see the blessings while going through dark times, but God always has a reason, even if it is simply to bring us closer to Himself. Through the battles we face, we can learn and become stronger. Though it has only been a few short months since all of this took place, I know that I am much closer to God because of it. This, and other painful situations make us appreciate the good times even more. More importantly though, they give us a chance to ground ourselves even more firmly in the love of God and to experience His grace in new ways.

No matter how rough the Fall 2018 semester has been, I am grateful for everything that happened. All those times I shut myself in my room, crying out to God were worth it because of the deeper relationship I now have with Him.

Bible Verses about Always Giving Thanks

There are so many Bible verses about thankfulness, but I wanted to share two verses that specifically speak of giving thanks always and in everything.

Psalm 31:1 – “I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.”

I Thessalonians 5:18 – “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Final Thoughts

It isn’t always easy to praise the Lord while going through horrible circumstances, but it is certainly a good thing to do, and quite essential to living a healthy Christian life. I still struggle with this myself on occasion (as I’m sure we all do), but I am grateful for how God is helping me to view life differently.

Hopefully everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving this year.

Until next time!

“Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.”

         — E.P. Powell

 

Why I Stopped Hating Snow

/ Stephanie Giles / 2 Comments

Winter Depression

There’s something about a snow day that is absolutely magical to a child. Waking up to an unexpected day off school and a beautiful blanket of sparkling, white snow on the ground was something I always loved during my school years. As I grew, however, I began to dislike snow and winter. I didn’t like always being cold, having to wear a heavy winter coat, and being stuck inside for what felt like an eternity while anxiously awaiting spring.

After graduating high school, that dislike quickly grew to an intense hatred. I began to dread every time I had to venture out into the cold and snowy world, and I despised driving on bad roads. I believe I was about 18 or 19 years old at the time, and I really began to go too far with this. I let that hatred fill me up so much that I could not enjoy anything. I walked around campus so gloomy and depressed that I imagine everyone probably thought something was horribly wrong with me. Being that I live in northeast Ohio, this cold weather can last anywhere from late October to early April. That’s about 4-5 months depending on the year. I still regret most things about that particular winter, because I wasted it moping around.

Changing my Outlook

Sometime after I became a Christian a couple years ago, I decided I could no longer live like that. I knew I wasn’t having the right attitude, for one thing, and I also wanted God to help me to find moments to actually enjoy during what I thought was the worst part of the year. I remember venturing out behind campus one day and wandering beyond the normal paths of student traffic. My breath nearly caught in my throat when I saw an untouched stretch of land covered in the most sparkly snow I had ever seen, and beyond that, a pond completely iced over. The sun was shining brightly, and it looked like a million diamonds were dancing before me with every step I took. I knelt down right where I was and ended up having a really good time of prayer right there, alone in the snow.

My attitude was horribly wrong before, but I am very grateful I’ve been able to move beyond that. Do I love winter and snow now? Definitely not. My favorite season is summer, without a doubt. I still don’t like being cold, and I still don’t like driving on icy roads. But the correct attitude has made all the difference for me. I no longer spend every moment of winter moping around and hating every step I take outside. I ask God regularly to help me see the good in everything instead. On top of this, I have sunshine in my heart that allows me to at least have peace during unpleasant situations. No, I don’t bubble over with joy while sliding around on icy roads, but there’s a sweet calmness within me.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”

–Albert Camus

What Does the Bible Say About Snow?

I looked this up recently just for fun. There are not many verses in the Bible that are about snow, but here are a few that I like:

Job 37:6 “For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength.”

Psalm 51:7 “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

What I believe I can take from these verses is that 1) God is the one that commands the snow to fall to the earth, 2) snow is used as a symbol of purity and cleanliness. What’s more is that God can wash our sins even whiter than that seemingly perfect blanket of fresh-fallen whiteness that glistens outside our windows.

Winter 2018

All this has been to say, this winter, I will do my best to appreciate the beauty of the snow, knowing that spring will be here before I know it. Do I think people are wrong for disliking winter? No. I just want to be careful with my own attitude about it and try to find joy in everything. I hope to be able to find “in whatever state I am in, to be content” (Philippians 4:11). So here are some pictures of things I found to be quite delightful while walking around my yard after a terrifying drive home on slippery roads with bald tires.

That post ended up being longer than I had intended, but thank you for reading. Try to stay warm out there and enjoy the beauty of our winter wonderland!

Until next time!

“To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold.”

-Aristotle

 

 

A Fresh Start

/ Stephanie Giles / Leave a comment

Why I Decided to Start Blogging Again

Yes, again. I did have a blog, once upon a time. But that one is now long lost in the deep, deep archives of the internet. I remember very little of what I had posted on it, but I would not want to dig it up now and try to salvage an already dead piece of history anyways–reason being simply that I am not the person I used to be. I’m ready for a fresh start. (Also, I couldn’t even remember my previous blog’s title).      

I think the main reason I decided to begin blogging again is just that I love writing. I think better while writing, and I find it soothing and stress-relieving. I plan to share things I am learning in this crazy life I’m living , how I’ve grown through past situations, and probably a good bit of randomness as well. Perhaps other people will be able to relate to some of these and share their own thoughts/advice. Or perhaps it will be of help to someone facing a similar problem or situation. Regardless, I hope that something I write will end up touching someone in some way.

I also like the idea of having my own voice. I have finally begun to figure out who I am in the last couple years. I have been shaped by situations I’ve been through, people I’ve met, place I’ve been to, and most importantly, by my walk with God.

So here I am again. Starting over, just like I did with my life nearly two years ago. But that’s another story for another time. I personally hate introductory blog posts, so I’m going to bring this one to a close so I can move into more unique topics soon.

Until next time!

“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.” 

-E. L. Doctorow