“I Can’t Do This.”
How often we say this little phrase. Sometimes we grumble it in frustration. Other times, we cry it out, burdened by the stress of life. Or perhaps we sob out a weak, “I just can’t do it anymore” in the midst of heartache we think is too great to handle.
It’s normal. Everyone has moments in which life seems too difficult. There are times in which the next step in life looks like a mountain much too big to face. “I can’t!” is our easiest escape. When we are too broken, stressed, or depressed to see a remedy to our situation, the quickest “solution” is to simply say “I can’t.”
“Can’t Never Did Anything”
I had a teacher in high school that told me this often and I hated it–mainly because I knew she was right. I was definitely guilty of often saying “can’t,” especially when it came to writing papers or getting good grades. As much as I despised the saying at the time, there is certainly truth to it. When we say “can’t,” we are immediately setting ourselves up for failure. If we have a task before us, and we look at it with an “I can’t” attitude, we have already given in. Even if we begin and then suddenly feel overwhelmed and back away, have we really done our best?
While there are some things we just cannot do, often, the case is simply that we do not truly give it our best. Saying “I can’t” before we have finished a task immediately lowers the likelihood of its completion, because we are doubting ourselves. With this mindset, we will tend to not push ourselves to do our best and we will often give up faster.
I have seen this tendency in myself as a student. If I begin a project with an attitude of self-doubt, I don’t always work as hard as I should. It takes longer, and the feelings of doubt snowball until I’m a mess of emotions. On the contrary, I could begin by saying, “yes, this is going to be tough, but I’m going to do my best.” The attitude makes all the difference here. We often don’t realize what we are capable of–and if we stop doubting ourselves, we can accomplish things we never thought possible.
Pity Party
Again. I am guilty of this. ” I can’t” is sometimes us just feeling sorry for ourselves. “I can’t” comes out in its whiniest form when really, what we mean is that we either don’t want to do something, or we are just having ourselves a little pity party about how unfair life is.
These are the times we have to just grow up and push through it. We have to stop acting like children and realize life isn’t fair. So maybe you’ve hit a rainstorm in life. That’s no reason to sit down in a mud puddle and cry. Put up your umbrella and start walking.
Emotional Struggles and “I Can’t”
Hurt. Heartache. Depression.
“I can’t” shows up in all of these situations. When our hearts are broken, and we feel like we cannot go on with life, we cry out again, “I can’t.” It’s easy to do. It can be hard to put one foot in front of the other sometimes. But each small step forward will bring you closer to the sunshine again. If we have made it this far in our lives, surely we can make it another day. And then another after that.
But instead of saying “can’t,” reach out to someone. Maybe it’s true… you can’t. Not alone, anyways. But there is a way for you somehow. I don’t want to get into this topic too deep, (perhaps in a future blog), but as one who has experienced some levels of depression in the past, I can definitely say there are times in which I’ve felt like I absolutely could not live one more day and handle it.
But somehow I did. It wasn’t by staring up at a mountain, wondering how on earth I’d climb it. It was by taking one small step. And then another. Friends helped me climb, and I suddenly realized I had reached the top. I had conquered my mountain. We all can.
Spiritual “I Can’t”
A little over a year and a half ago, I hit a low spot in my spiritual journey. I had only been saved for a couple months, and old temptations were popping up. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I was slipping. I remember sitting in my room crying out to God, “I can’t do this. I’m not good enough.”
Well. What I’ve learned is… I was right. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t good enough.
Wait, what?
That’s right. The truth is, we can’t do it. We aren’t good enough–not by ourselves. The key here is with God, we can. My problem was that I was relying too much on my own strength. Jesus said, “Without me, ye can do nothing” (John 15:5 KJV). We cannot do it alone. Without God, we are nothing. But, “by the grace of God, I am what I am” (I Corinthians 15:10 KJV).
One of my very favorite verses is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I’ve had plenty of situations in life I didn’t think I could handle. But somehow, I am still alive. I made it through days that I thought were too horrible to bear. And now I know that it is by God’s strength alone that I can survive.
The most comforting thing is that no matter how awful things seem–no matter how bleak the future looks, God is not going to allow more testing than we are capable of handling. (I Corinthians 10:13), and He is there as our strength and shield.
Final Thoughts
Whatever you’re struggling with… don’t give up. You can survive. Turn to friends, talk to God, let the tears flow, do whatever you need to… just don’t say “I can’t,” and underestimate yourself. Don’t set yourself up for failure when you have the potential to rise up above your circumstances and shine. Don’t stare up at the mountain and worry about how hard it looks. Take a deep breath. Smile. And take one small step forward.
If you have any thoughts, let me know in the comments or send me a message using the link on my contact info! Thanks for reading!
Until next time!
“With men, this is impossible; but with God, all things are possible.” -Matthew 19:26
Growing in Grace | Stephanie Giles 