Month: March 2020

The Hardest Thing about Teaching

/ Stephanie Giles / Leave a comment

When I first started teaching, I thought I knew what the hardest part would be.

I thought it would be classroom management.

I thought it would be lesson prep or keeping up with piles of grading.

I thought it would be explaining difficult concepts in ways that made sense to the students.

I was wrong.

It isn’t any of those things.

It’s saying goodbye.

Face-to-Face Classes Cancelled | COVID-19

Thursday, March 19, I received a text informing me that due to the current COVID-19 situation, Friday would be the teachers’ last day of face-to-face classes indefinitely.

We don’t know when we’re going back, and we don’t know if we’re going back. Some schools have already closed for the rest of the school year and transferred to fully online classes.

Indefinitely.

My last day of in-person classes shattered me, especially because my students had questions I couldn’t answer.

“When will we come back? Will we be able to have our field trip? What about dissection in Biology?”

I cried when I said goodbye.

Indefinitely.

The Hardest Thing

I just finished my first week of teaching 100% online.

I know I’m still in contact with my students, but it’s all digital. They’re still there, but I can’t see them. I’m still teaching, but I can’t watch the lights come on in their minds as they begin to grasp a concept.

I stand in my empty classroom and talk to a camera, trying to imagine my students sitting in those empty seats listening to the lesson.

I hate being in the school without them. Silent hallways and eerily quiet classrooms.

“Do Not Disturb. Recording in Progress” signs hanging on classroom doors.

Capture

Online Teaching

I wish I could see them smiling. I wish I could have goofy conversations with them before class. I wish I could watch them interact with each other between classes.

I miss being able to make them laugh. 

I miss them.

The hardest thing is saying goodbye.

What’s My Purpose Now?

Teaching is my purpose.

My students are my world, and I just lost a big part of that world.

I realized that this was coming eventually. At the end of the year, some will be graduating and moving on. Others will be in my classes for another year or two, but they will continue moving forward. I wasn’t expecting my goodbye to be so soon or so abrupt.

I know I still have them online, but it’s a totally different world. It’s hard for all of us. I’m still praying this all passes before the end of the school year so I can have just a little more time with them in person. So we can go on our field trip. So they can enjoy in-person education again.

I want to be there for my students. I want to give them the education they deserve. I want them to see Jesus through me always.

It’s easy to feel like I’ve lost my purpose through all of this, but I keep reminding myself of the truth.

I haven’t lost my purpose.

I can still teach. I can still provide lessons so that my students can receive the education they need. It’s harder to communicate with them digitally, but they are still there. I’m still the same teacher I was in person. I can still try to make them smile with my awful sense of humor as I teach. I can still be there for them.

I can still shine for Jesus, even if it must be done digitally.

Final Thoughts

I realize this post is much more emotional than what I’ve written before. The last week has been hard on me, both emotionally and physically, and I know other teachers feel the same. We haven’t lost our purpose. Maybe we have to plan differently now, but we can continue to teach and inspire students even from our computers at home.

I’m still praying that this won’t last the rest of the year, but I will continue to do my best regardless. I’m trusting in Jesus and holding on to Him during this time of uncertainty. He gives me strength when I have nothing left.

Lastly, I know that saying goodbye is part of teaching. At the end of the school year, students move on and graduate. My time teaching each group is short, but I hope what I teach lasts far beyond the students’ time with me. I hope I can make a positive impact on each of their lives that continues beyond their graduation.

Students, if you are reading this, know that you are very loved and I miss you all. Keep being awesome and try to enjoy your quarantine. We’ll get through this. 

As always, thanks for reading.

Until next time!

Philippians 4:13

~I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength~

 

Finding the Calm in the Storm | COVID-19

/ Stephanie Giles / Leave a comment

97977

“I’m going to miss you guys so much.” The words had barely left my mouth before the tears started.

It was the first time I cried in front of my students.

On Monday, I had no idea that it would be my last week with my students (until further notice). On Friday, I had to say goodbye to them while school is closed “indefinitely.” While we will continue to do schooling online, it’s just not the same as seeing my students in person every day. Leaving school not knowing when I would see my students again was heartbreaking.

This is my last semester at Kent State University, and face-to-face classes have been cancelled for the rest of the semester and everything will be taking place online–including my senior thesis defense, which was supposed to be in person. The news that shattered me was finding out that they are currently undecided about commencement but will likely be cancelling graduation ceremonies as well.

I have already lost hours at my other job as well, so my finances are also taking a hit as the restaurant cuts back employees due to the lack in business.

*UPDATE* Ohio restaurants are now closed.

So I have officially lost my waitressing job until further notice.

It feels like the world has been turned upside-down for a lot of us. The coronavirus scare has affected both of my jobs as well as my schooling–and these three things are a huge part of my life. While I certainly don’t want to complain, the events of the last couple days have completely shaken me, and I know I’m not alone in that.

Jesus Calms the Storm

I honestly was trying to avoid writing anything whatsoever about the coronavirus on my blog or in social media posts, but I changed my mind after my devotions this morning, because I believe God was reminding me of something very important.

Matthew 8:23-37 tells the story of a time when Jesus and his disciples found themselves out on a lake in the middle of a terrifying storm. The disciples went into a panic, only to find that Jesus was sleeping. The Bible says they literally shouted to wake Jesus up, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

Jesus responded,

“Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” 

Then Jesus got up and calmed the storm.

Jesus is my Calm

With all the recent events, it definitely feels like we’re all in a fierce storm. Our world has been shaken and a lot of things feel really uncertain right now. With everything changing around me, though, I have found peace in the fact that God never changes.

While the storm isn’t calm, I have found my calm in talking to God and feeling His presence. When you’re held tight in His arms, the storm loses its power over you. Instead, there’s a security and a calmness there.

This doesn’t mean that everything is great. It’s not. I’m distraught about the possibility of not having a graduation ceremony. My heart breaks when I think of the unfortunate teaching situation and not seeing my students this coming week and indefinitely after that. Losing work hours means less money.

But we aren’t supposed to live in fear. Jesus asks His disciples why they were afraid and having such little faith when He was in the boat with them. Fear points to a lack of faith. 

Yeah, things are rough. But it’s still okay.

Because God’s got me. He’s an immovable rock even through the most vicious storms, and if you hold onto Him, He won’t let you go. So when things are bad, when things are uncertain, or when you’re afraid. . . run to Jesus.

Fear melts into peace.

I’m glad I’ve found my calm.

Final Thoughts

Thanks for reading, as always. If you have any comments, I always enjoy hearing other people’s thoughts!

 

II Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

John 14:27 – Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. . . Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.